It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Can I opt out of AI assistants in meetings?
In large Zoom meetings, I’ve noticed a coworker using an AI assistant to transcribe and take notes. While I understand the desire to use these kinds of tools on an ease and accessibility level, everything about AI, from privacy to environmental, squicks me out beyond belief. I’ve yet to speak during these calls, but I wonder if there’s any standing for me or another coworker to ask these tools not be used?
Your coworker may not even know the AI is there. Some AI tools, once turned on for one use, will start attending and transcribing meetings without being specifically requested each time (see this letter for an example).
At this point, any employer that hasn’t already communicated a clear policy about the use of AI in meetings and other work needs to, so you could raise the issue on your team or within your organization and ask for a clear policy on when AI use is and isn’t okay, and point out the potential security risks if the data from meetings is stored outside your company. Assuming this is an outside AI tool and not something proprietary to your company, in many organizations using it this way would be considered a security risk.
2. Hate group bumper sticker in the company parking lot
One of my employees has a large sticker from an anti-government extremist group on his truck. I want to ask him to either remove the sticker or park his truck somewhere that is not in the company parking lot (we serve a lot of government entities, and these folks tried to kidnap the governor!). My HR team is telling me that I can’t do this because it violates the employee’s freedom of speech, but do I seriously have to let him advertise his hate group at our place of business?
“Freedom of speech,” as a legal concept, applies to the government not being able to restrict speech, not to private employers having rules about what is and isn’t okay to be displayed on their property. From a purely legal standpoint, a private employer absolutely has the right to tell an employee that they can’t display an offensive sticker in their parking lot.
Whether or not your company will allow you to do that is a different question. If your company isn’t willing to back you up, or tells you directly that they’re not willing to prohibit offensive stickers in their lot, they’re allowed to take that stance. They don’t have to take that stance (so HR is wrong if they’re implying their hands are tied), but they can choose to. But you might have better luck escalating this to someone who isn’t HR.
3. Potlucks with food-restricted coworkers
My government workplace holds potluck and other food-related events a few times a year. It’s nothing big, but those who attend like them. There are a few folks who don’t attend because they have food restrictions (gluten-free, vegan, etc.). It’s fine if folks don’t want to attend, but I don’t want anyone to feel excluded! Some others bring their own food or just come to sit with us. The last time we had a potluck, I searched for a recipe online for a vegan, gluten-free dish to share. I made sure to let folks know that I made a special dish so they felt included. It was a new challenge for me, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.
My colleagues who host the event say they would love to have people with food sensitivities bring dishes that meet their dietary needs to share as well. We have enough people with different preferences that there should be some variety if a few of them bring something to share. Should the burden be on those with dietary restrictions to bring a dish that meets their needs? Is it helpful for the rest of us to bring dishes with others’ needs in mind? I don’t want people to feel pressured to attend because I made a specific dish; I just want them to feel included. We also print out recipes to share and to let folks know what ingredients are in each dish.
This varies by person. Some people with food restrictions will be delighted someone went out of their way to provide something they can eat. Others may be wary about eating it (ask any vegetarian who’s ever heard a dish described as “vegetarian” only to find out it contained chicken broth); they’re not willing to risk someone got the details of their restrictions exactly right. Some may be happy to bring their own dish so they’re assured there will be something there they can eat; others are happier opting out altogether because they don’t want to discuss their diet at all, or simply don’t like potlucks. All of which is to say: there’s no one right answer here. The only way to know for sure is to talk to your colleagues and ask what they’d most like.
All that said, you sound thoughtful and kind, and I’m sure your food-restricted coworkers appreciate you thinking about them!
4. My coworkers talk about me like a pet
I’m an introverted and quiet person and I rarely participate in non-work conversations with my coworkers. I’m not rude — I participate when I’m directly addressed. I just usually keep to myself otherwise. My coworkers definitely know me as the quiet one, but nobody’s ever complained.
My issue is this: sometimes, when my coworkers are chatting near me, they’ll speak for me in a way I can only explain as the way people will talk about their pets, attributing reactions and opinions to them as a way to comment on the situation. “Fluffy says, ‘Fish? I love fish!’” That kind of thing. They’ll be complaining about something and then say, “Ha, Morgan thinks I’m crazy” or “Morgan’s over there like ‘you guys don’t know what you’re talking about.’” And I’m not involved in the conversation at all, let alone thinking or reacting the way they say.
I don’t really know how to respond when this happens. Should I correct them? They’re not talking to me, just around me. I don’t want to create a fuss if this is normal and they’re just joking around, but I find it uncomfortable to have opinions on something I wasn’t even paying attention to attributed to me.
I think you’re reading it wrong! They’re not really attributing those opinions to you; they’re trying to acknowledge your presence. They don’t want to talk around you as if you’re not there and it’s almost certainly meant as a warm/funny way to not seem like they’re ignoring you. You don’t need much of a response to it — you could just smile and say “no, no” or “ha, not at all” or any other non-committal but reasonably warm response you’re comfortable with.
5. I was promised a bonus but haven’t seen it yet
I was lucky enough to be asked to come work a conference overseas for my job. I did great, and got a lot of good feedback emailed to my manager — hurray!
During the conference, the organizer (who works at our company) mentioned that all of the staff (me included) working the event would get a bonus. She and I even talked about what I should spend my bonus on.
I never did receive it. I checked with a coworker who was also at the event, and he got his already. I’m pretty non-confrontational, and I don’t want to come off as greedy or money-grubbing, but I’d like the bonus! What’s the best way to ask about it?
It’s not money-grubbing to ask about a work payment that you were told you would receive, especially when you know someone else already got theirs. Talk with the organizer and say this: “You had mentioned everyone working at X would get a bonus, which I really appreciated. Do you know when we’re likely to see it come through?”